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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Being a Mother has taught me...

I hope everyone had a wonderful fantastic Mother's Day! I know I did!  Breakfast in Bed, homemade cards, hand prints, Church, pool time, visiting the in-laws, and then finally my mothers for dinner. The kids played in the yard with their cousins until 10pm. I don't think they could have been any happier. (Getting to stay up late is a big deal in this house!) On Mother's Day I realized these little kids have taught me so much. In less then 5 short years I have learned more then I ever could have imagined. Things I would have never fathomed had I not had them. Here are just a few:

1. The Spanish word for hamburger is "crabby patty".
2. Pokemon and Transformers are real and they lived 47 years ago.
3. God hates deer and he shot two of them last Saturday.
4. How cute someone can be when they are throwing a fit.
5. If you close your eyes no one can see you.
6. The "I-didn't-do-it" ghost is real.
7. You can wear dress up clothes anywhere.
8. To appreciate the small things. Like a 5 minute shower.
9. No one will ever love you more then your kids.
10. It's a miracle my mother didn't kill me. Seriously.

What has being a mother taught you?


  1. Funny post! I went to comment the first time after reading this, and has so many answers, that I realized I should just do my own post as what it has taught me! Cute pics of the kids too!

  2. They have taught us a lot, haven't they!

  3. 1. Being a boy means that you have earned the privilege to pee anywhere, on anyone or anything, and in front of anyone.

    2. I no longer say, "I can't wait for this age to pass," because something worse is coming.

    3. When my four year old gets married his wife WILL buy him a real bat mobile.

    4. Costumes are not just made for Halloween, and on any given day it's okay to change costumes 50,000 times and expect mommy to clean up the mess.

    5. Two grown adults, a two-year old, and a four year old cannot sleep comfortably in a full size bed.

    6. 7 am Breakfast, 9 am snack, 11 am lunch, 1pm snack, 3 pm snack, 5pm dinner, 7 pm snack, and kids go to bed at 7:30 screaming that they are hungry?

    7. Apple Juice is only good for you in small proportions. It is horrible for children who drink 30 sippy cups a day. (Causes many cavities)

    8. Like Jennifer said appreciate that five minute bath, because at any moment your little one will realize that you are in the bath tub, and may then start screaming frantically "BATH TIME, BATH TIME" while stripping off all their clothes. Then they will dive into the bath tub that you were just relaxing in, and your five minutes is up.

    9. Some children are natural swimmers and some are natural sinkers. My four year old is like a fish, he looks like a professional swimmer. I thought the same applied to my two year old but he is a professional sinker. As soon as you let him go, he sinks like a rock to the bottom of the pool.

    10. Bigfoot is real and my 8 year old step son is determined to find him in our backyard.

    11. Never say, "My child will never act like that!" You are only cursing yourself!

    12. I know nothing! I have a 2 yr old, 4 yr old, 8 yr old, 9 yr old, and 20 yr old, and they ALL think that they know everything.

    13. Your children never grow out of waking up at all hours of the night.

    14. Potty training is not as easy as those books make it seem.

    15. The smoke detector looks like a scary rabbit!?!?!?!?

    16. When my mother yelled to not soak the bathroom floor, it was for a VERY good reason.

    17. Your younger "speed demon" days are over, because once you are carrying your precious cargo you will look like a 90 year old woman driver.

    18. Your kids own their room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the living room, the porch, and your room. If you want your own room, Build a shed! (Caution: Your shed may become taken over with pool toys, beach toys, battery powered cars, and bikes. In this case, your children now own your shed as well)

    19. I use to say "My kids will never eat in my car." I now laugh every time I clean the chicken nuggets and French fries out of the floor board.

    20. Chucke Cheese is not as ffun as I remember when I was growing up. In fact, it's scary. But my children love it.

  4. 21. If you want your child to stay clean, do not let them wear white. Especially if they are a two year old.

    22. Most playstation games are not appropriate for children. Especially if your husband picked them out for him to play.

    23. You will have to clean, vacuum and scrub the inside of you vehicle 4-7 times a week.

    24. Your children will miss you, even if you just walked outside to take out the trash.

    25. Riding a bike is not as easy as it seems.

    26. If your child likes to draw, it would be rise to invest in one of those boxes at Staples that contain 50,000 sheets. Put it in your monthly budget, because THEY WILL GO FAST.

    27. A 8 year old does not think that they look ridiculous lying on the floor screaming, kicking and crying.

    28. Siblings that are close in age will have disagreements (ALOT OF THEM). Some disagreements may result in hitting, punching, kicking, screaming, and biting.

    29. Even if your child has 50 costumes, they will still insist that you make them a home-made ninja costume. Then after you have cute up every piece of black clothing that you have to make a ninja costume, you will then have to learn to make an origami ninja sword and star to go with the costume. Then after hours of work, your other two children will want one too.

    30. 9.9 times out of 10, If the school calls it is NOT good.

    31. A two-year old can be suspended for peeing on someone.

    32. Keep your child in a crib as long as possible, because it teaches them that when it is bed time, they are to stay in bed. Otherwise, you may have a five year old sneaking in bed with you at ALL hours of every night.

    33. Keep your child in a high chair as long as possible, and definitely at restaurants.

    34. If your child is missing at a restuarant they are 99% likely to be under the table, the booth or eating with another family.

    35. Children scream LOUD when they do not get their way.

    36. If you are trying to not draw attention to your child's bad behavior, It is NOT a good idea to pinch their hand.

    37. Boys want to do EVERYTHING their parents do, and say everything their parents say. Cussing is not a good idea.

    38. NEVER gossip in front of your child. They will repeat your exact words to the person you were talking about.

    39. The first time your child runs in front of a car, you will consider buying one of those harnesses with the leash that you said you would never put on your child.

    40. It is possible for two kids to wreck a spotless house in under five minutes.

  5. 41. Swimming means getting in and out of the pool 50 times in an hour until the pool is so unclean that you cannot see the bottom.

    42. The door mat at the front door is made for children to run past as they track mud throughout the entire house that you just cleaned.

    43. The kitchen table is not just made for eating, it is made for standing on, leaping off of, building tents, coloring on, and toys ALOT OF THEM.

    44. It doesn't matter what you make for dinner, food will be on the wall, ceiling, floors, and cabinets.

    45. Grandmas are the best babysitters.

    46. You realize that your mother was always right.

    47. You will spend countless hours on the phone with your mother and best friend about parenting your children.

    48. You would do ANYTHING to make your child happy.

    49. When your child comes home crying that someone picked on them, you will have the urge to go to the school and put that bully in his place.

    50. Tattle taling is cool! It is hilarious when your brother gets in trouble and even funnier if he gets a spanking.

    51. Your child will spit in your face and atleast once on purpose.

    52. Your electrical bill will sky rocket, because you have to give your children 10 baths a day, every light in the house will have to be on, and you will go from washing three loads a week to three loads a day.

    53. A night light does not project enough light into the room. The bedroom light must be on, night light, and t.v. Occasionally, the flashlight too.

    54. Your children have no image issues. They are perfectly content being naked at anytime, in front of anyone.

    55. Chickens will attack! My two year old found this out the hard way and so did I.

    56. The three hundred dollar wooden swing set at Walmart is not made for any child over 3. If your eight year old runs up the slide it will break in half, and when five kids are on the swings at once the wooden bar will snap.

    57. If a bike is left in the drive way IT WILL EVENTUALLY BE RUN OVER.

    58. You will never be able to sleep peacefully again, because you will lay awake worrying about something happening to your child during the night.

    59. You will hear mommy a million times a day. Changing your name will not work!

    60. Even though your life is hectic you will love EVERY moment of it.

    61. You will never understanding a parents unconditional love until you have children of your own.

    62. Birthday parties may cause bankruptcy.

    63. Private schools WILL cause bankruptcy.

    64. Its okay to wear shorts in winter and jackets in summer.

    65. Your 2 year old will think that he can dress himself, and he can, in swim gear, boots, jacket, and batman cape.

    66. Enjoy these moments, because "IT WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOR LONG."